It’s amazing how much power is within this one word.
People like to think confidence is a trait that you just have. I tend to think that confidence is like a muscle that gives yourself more courage and strength. A muscle you use like a hammer when you want to hang something. To me, confidence is like a muscle that you use to give you more courage to do the things that make your heart happy.
Not too long ago, I was a person that didn’t have access to this tool. I had no idea this muscle even existed, I heard of it but never thought about having such a thing myself. I envied those that was brave to truly be their own person without being afraid or being judged.
There was a time where I believe in everyone else but myself. From strangers, to “friends” to “significant others” to even “family” telling me that I was to blame for everything, anything that went wrong was obviously my fault, and even if I was victim to a situation, it was still some how my responsibility. Other people’s opinions seemed to hold more value to me than my own.
It felt like there was someone holding me back telling me I can’t do anything right, I’m not worth anything or that I didn’t matter. My low self esteem was so low that anyone that would tell me other wise (than what the little voices in my head were saying) was WRONG. Then one day in particular, I decided that I no longer wanted to be told who I am, how I should be, or what I should do with my own damn life. I found myself that muscle and believed that I am more than capable of doing anything that I want to.
Over the years, I’ve finally come to realize the person that’s been always holding me back was me. I was my own worst critic. I had become my own worst enemy. Anyone who tried to beat me down only insulted me, that they can do a better job of making myself feel bad than me. The worst part was that it wasn’t even a real thing that has been holding me back all those years. It was simply the voices in my head stopping myself from finding that tool that I subconsciously wanted so bad.
Once I made a conscious choice of no longer living a life of low self-confidence, self-pity, and letting other peoples voices becoming my own. I was finally able to open up and for once live my life without other people telling me how it should be. I’ve discovered this whole other perspective that I didn’t even know existed and I just felt free.
While reading this and you relate, just know that you are not alone. There are so many people out there that suffers this issue. Some people are truly at peace but others are just better at faking it. However that is none of your business. The best thing for you to do is to focus on you.
How To Build Confidence:
- Let the past be the past. Whatever has already happened. HAPPENED. It’s time to let it go and not stew in it anymore. Instead of letting the past hold you back. How about letting it empower you? Make sure how you felt never happens again, and if it does then guess what? If it didn’t kill you the first time, then you know how to tackle it if if history should repeat itself.
- Control your voices. Easier said than done, I get it. It’s okay to have voices in our head but just pay careful attention to what you are telling yourself. The second you hear yourself saying something negative, cut yourself off and focus on what you really want to accomplish. No time to waste anymore.
- Don’t take anything personally. There are people in this world that still haven’t figured themselves out yet. So instead of loving and supporting each other they’re doing the opposite. Just remember that however people are treating you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
- Surround yourself with positive people. It’s easy to get upset by the people in your life that are always putting you down. So why continue to torture yourself by having yourself in that position (seriously, it’s draining and exhausting). Moving forward only surround yourself with people who don’t judge you, that wants whats best for you and will finally treat you the way you deserve.
- Focus on your future. Now you have discovered that tool you’ve always wanted so bad. Why not put that muscle to work. Set goals for yourself to accomplish. It doesn’t have to be as far as climbing Mount Everest. Start off with something you know you can do ie: lose 10 pounds, become vegetarian for a week, finish a project you started. Then slowly day by day stretch further and further by challenging yourself.
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is confidence.
When I first started my YouTube Channel, I didn’t have time to worry about what if nobody watches me. I didn’t care. I wasn’t making YouTube videos for people who didn’t care about me. I was making it to share the knowledge and things I know that would help people little by little. Even if my work is so minuscule but brings a small smile to someones face or to somehow made them feel better then that’s all I could possibly ask for.
Below is one of my first videos where I am completely candid with the camera. In this video, I share my experience and give advice hoping that someone can learn a little from my past so they don’t make the same mistakes I did. I wanted my voice to empower people on how they can know that its okay to be brave by being themselves. To be honest, part of me was a little nervous that people would feel like this was overdone and done by many far more popular. In fact that is what one of my closest friends said to me. So I decided to throw in a giveaway just to have an incentive just in case. For whatever reason, I temporarily let my friends voice become mine.
Now I upload videos sharing my candid thoughts whether there’s a giveaway or not.
Believe me, after all this time I still don’t have it figured out. I don’t pretend that I do. No one does. However I bust my butt using that muscle whenever needed.
Confidence is not something that can be built over night. Just like working out, its a muscle you have to keep exercising to become stronger. Remind yourself that it’s okay to fail. As long as you learn from it and try your best then thats all you can really ask of yourself. Remember those voices are just things in your head. It’s not reality.
We live in a society that having low self confidence is a bad thing and then shame on those who truly are confident. It’s quite twisted. The best way for you to be, is to always be the best version of yourself.
With Love, Yuena
P.s. This was my first blog. I thank you for your support.
Feel free to be share your thoughts with me!